She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My vagina just clenched in fear
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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