I'm going to jail i love you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
