after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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