mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize