Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just forgot I was standing up.
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