If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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