I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
