yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
