what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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