M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
