Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
