i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
