Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
