it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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