Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
