the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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