Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
