we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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