we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
