It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
