Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
