I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
