HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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