Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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