Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
