so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
