I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
