I'm drive I can fine osifer
i will never coherently bang her
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
