you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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