She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
