it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
