just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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