Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
