NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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