I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
