His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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