my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
