i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
