I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
