we have officially lost it.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
