But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
