i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
