i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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