i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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