There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
