Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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