The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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