I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
