how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
