i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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