The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
