I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You smell like stripper and shame
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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