you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
