Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
