ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
