Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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