just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
