if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
